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MY NURSING STORY @ 05:22 pm
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My first child was born when I was 18 – I had no idea what I was doing when it came to feeding him. I am the second eldest of 8 and I knew that people breastfed but I grew up with just seeing bottle fed babies and hearing horror stories about breastfeeding and how it is not enough for babies, how it ruined your breasts. After gaining 40kg in pregnancy the last thing I wanted to do was wreck my body any further. (A lot of body image issues). I attempted to nurse in the hospital but was not happy about it – Ash would not latch so out came the nipple shield it kind of worked but my family was telling me how I was doing a terrible job and that I should switch to formula as he was such a skinny scrawny baby. (He is now 13, taller than my husband and weighs about 35kg – so he will always be skinny). I felt like I was failing but I kinda wanted to give it a go – then I went for my 10 day check up with the Health Nurse who also informed me that he was skinny and scrawny and I need to supplement with Formula to top him up. This was the beginning of the end. By the end of the following week he was 100% on the bottle.
My first child was born when I was 18 – I had no idea what I was doing when it came to feeding him. I am the second eldest of 8 and I knew that people breastfed but I grew up with just seeing bottle fed babies and hearing horror stories about breastfeeding and how it is not enough for babies, how it ruined your breasts. After gaining 40kg in pregnancy the last thing I wanted to do was wreck my body any further. (A lot of body image issues). I attempted to nurse in the hospital but was not happy about it – Ash would not latch so out came the nipple shield it kind of worked but my family was telling me how I was doing a terrible job and that I should switch to formula as he was such a skinny scrawny baby. (He is now 13, taller than my husband and weighs about 35kg – so he will always be skinny). I felt like I was failing but I kinda wanted to give it a go – then I went for my 10 day check up with the Health Nurse who also informed me that he was skinny and scrawny and I need to supplement with Formula to top him up. This was the beginning of the end. By the end of the following week he was 100% on the bottle.
When Amber was born 4 years later I was in a better place in my life and in my skin. I had a supportive partner. Amber was a champ at Breast feeding to begin with and latched on first go (I have to put here that this time the nursing staff were really supportive and helpful) She was very small when she was born and by 6 weeks my family were trying to convince me that she was too small and that she needed to start solids. This time I stood my ground but by the time she was 4 months old my partner started to join my family that she was tiny and that maybe we should supplement. The night she got her first top up bottle she slept straight through from 10pm to 7am – this in my family’s eyes meant that apparently I was not enough for her and she should be on formula and starting solids. After 2 weeks of my husband telling me she needed formula I caved and gave in. During those 4 months we endured recovery from emergency c-section, engorgement, mastitis and weaning both myself and the baby off high dose steroids.
Eight years later and I was blessed with a major miracle named Lincoln. This time I was adamant that I was going to breast feed him. I spent hours and hours pouring over information on the internet and books – I was like a first time mother but this time I had the information available for me. Lincoln was born by emergency c-section (again) and latched on as soon as I was wheeled into recovery – the staff at the hospital were amazing but I still ended up with severely cracked nipples. On day 2 my milk came in and man I was in so much pain I could not even pick up the baby. He was slightly jaundiced but like a super pooper he nursed and nursed and he was all clear to go home on day 5. On day 5 he was also back up over his birth weight. This should have been a sign that I was capable of providing for him. I never knew how much easier it is to care for a baby in the hospital until I got home. I felt like I was nursing all the time and I was not getting any sleep. Lincoln was not sleeping during the day at all and hardly at night – when he wasn’t nursing he was screaming. The health nurse who came to my house was no help – I told her how miserable I was and how I wanted to get a pump she informed me that I should get a nipple shield and forget the pump BUT I should be careful as I did not want a baby that comfort nursed (she was a nurse I thought she new best) I bought a shield and it seemed to get better but he was still nursing all the time. I also went and bought an Avent Isis pump and started pumping and feeding him while we worked on our latch. This continued until Lincoln was about 6 weeks and I ended up with mastitis it was horrible I have never felt so sick in all my life. I spent the entire weekend in bed nursing by the end of it I was much better and my little bean was much happier.
Friends of our’s had a baby the day before Lincoln was born so my husband kept comparing us to them. She started supplementing and her baby was sleeping through the night and gaining weight and we were not even at 6 weeks and I was getting up every 2-3 hours. My husband bought formula and forced my poor wee little one to drink it. He slept for 4 hours after that formula bottle – I cried for the entire time he was sleeping – I had flashbacks to my previous failures. I found the breastfeeding community on LJ where I found amazing support. Then we hit a growth spurt and I thought that I was failing – I had the screaming always hungry monster back. My partner and family started on the formula and solids rant again. I was then directed to Adopt-a –mom and was given a mentor – her name was Shannon and she was amazing. So with Shannon’s support and the support of Breastfeeding on LJ I found my confidence to stand up for myself.
Lincoln turned 6 months last week and we are going strong. I love him and the amazing bond that we share (tearing up while writing this) I am dreading the fact that I have to go back to work in July but I am planning on pumping while at work. I also graduated from being mentored so now this is part of my application to becoming a mentor to help someone else through the highs and lows of breastfeeding.
I should also put in here somewhere that we also had to undertake the dairy elimination diet which made for a happy baby but a miserable mum. But hey I gave up alcohol for my little worm so why not my beloved dairy (not that I ate that much being lactose intolerant).
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