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We're all here drinking beer

Pass the chips

January 29th, 2008


Current Mood: accomplished accomplished


My first child was born when I was 18 – I had no idea what I was doing when it came to feeding him. I am the second eldest of 8 and I knew that people breastfed but I grew up with just seeing bottle fed babies and hearing horror stories about breastfeeding and how it is not enough for babies, how it ruined your breasts. After gaining 40kg in pregnancy the last thing I wanted to do was wreck my body any further. (A lot of body image issues). I attempted to nurse in the hospital but was not happy about it – Ash would not latch so out came the nipple shield it kind of worked but my family was telling me how I was doing a terrible job and that I should switch to formula as he was such a skinny scrawny baby. (He is now 13, taller than my husband and weighs about 35kg – so he will always be skinny).  I felt like I was failing but I kinda wanted to give it a go – then I went for my 10 day check up with the Health Nurse who also informed me that he was skinny and scrawny and I need to supplement with Formula to top him up. This was the beginning of the end. By the end of the following week he was 100% on the bottle.

When Amber was born 4 years later I was in a better place in my life and in my skin. I had a supportive partner. Amber was a champ at Breast feeding to begin with and latched on first go (I have to put here that this time the nursing staff were really supportive and helpful) She was very small when she was born and by 6 weeks my family were trying to convince me that she was too small and that she needed to start solids. This time I stood my ground but by the time she was 4 months old my partner started to join my family that she was tiny and that maybe we should supplement. The night she got her first top up bottle she slept straight through from 10pm to 7am – this in my family’s eyes meant that apparently I was not enough for her and she should be on formula and starting solids. After 2 weeks of my husband telling me she needed formula I caved and gave in. During those 4 months we endured recovery from emergency c-section, engorgement, mastitis and weaning both myself and the baby off high dose steroids.

Eight years later and I was blessed with a major miracle named Lincoln. This time I was adamant that I was going to breast feed him. I spent hours and hours pouring over information on the internet and books – I was like a first time mother but this time I had the information available for me. Lincoln was born by emergency c-section (again) and latched on as soon as I was wheeled into recovery – the staff at the hospital were amazing but I still ended up with severely cracked nipples. On day 2 my milk came in and man I was in so much pain I could not even pick up the baby. He was slightly jaundiced but like a super pooper he nursed and nursed and he was all clear to go home on day 5. On day 5 he was also back up over his birth weight. This should have been a sign that I was capable of providing for him. I never knew how much easier it is to care for a baby in the hospital until I got home. I felt like I was nursing all the time and I was not getting any sleep. Lincoln was not sleeping during the day at all and hardly at night – when he wasn’t nursing he was screaming. The health nurse who came to my house was no help – I told her how miserable I was and how I wanted to get a pump she informed me that I should get a nipple shield and forget the pump BUT I should be careful as I did not want a baby that comfort nursed (she was a nurse I thought she new best) I bought a shield and it seemed to get better but he was still nursing all the time. I also went and bought an Avent Isis pump and started pumping and feeding him while we worked on our latch. This continued until Lincoln was about 6 weeks and I ended up with mastitis it was horrible I have never felt so sick in all my life. I spent the entire weekend in bed nursing by the end of it I was much better and my little bean was much happier.
Friends of our’s had a baby the day before Lincoln was born so my husband kept comparing us to them. She started supplementing and her baby was sleeping through the night and gaining weight and we were not even at 6 weeks and I was getting up every 2-3 hours. My husband bought formula and forced my poor wee little one to drink it. He slept for 4 hours after that formula bottle – I cried for the entire time he was sleeping – I had flashbacks to my previous failures. I found the breastfeeding community on LJ where I found amazing support. Then we hit a growth spurt and I thought that I was failing – I had the screaming always hungry monster back. My partner and family started on the formula and solids rant again. I was then directed to Adopt-a –mom and was given a mentor – her name was Shannon and she was amazing. So with Shannon’s support and the support of Breastfeeding on LJ I found my confidence to stand up for myself.
Lincoln turned 6 months last week and we are going strong. I love him and the amazing bond that we share (tearing up while writing this) I am dreading the fact that I have to go back to work in July but I am planning on pumping while at work. I also graduated from being mentored so now this is part of my application to becoming a mentor to help someone else through the highs and lows of breastfeeding.
I should also put in here somewhere that we also had to undertake the dairy elimination diet which made for a happy baby but a miserable mum. But hey I gave up alcohol for my little worm so why not my beloved dairy (not that I ate that much being lactose intolerant).

December 10th, 2006

(no subject) @ 08:34 am

Comment, and I'll give you a letter; then you have to list 10 things you love that begin with that letter in your journal and give out some letters of your own.

mazz gave me D

1. Drinking
2. Dog (my dog)
3. Daughter
4. Dribble (gross huh but means I have had a good sleep)
5. Dresses (ha who am i kidding)
6. Dancing
7. Drawing (though haven't done it in a while)
8. Doodling (do that all the time while on the phoone to clients)
9. Dutch licorice
10. Doner Kebabs - extra jalapenos

Asked the princess what I should put in here and she said DRUNK Ha ha ha my children know me too well

December 6th, 2006

God damit too much bubbles @ 05:46 am

Oh dear god I am so very very sick. I went to work on Monday feeling of doom but as one person was away I sucked it up and soldiered on through the day. Didn't sleep much on Monday night just feeling of unwellness and princess came into bed at 2am with a headache. So pretty much awake from about midnight tossing and turning. Tuesday went to work feeling like and I am guessing looking like death lasted until 9.30 and I had to go home. My manager was great even checking if I was ok to drive myself home - just made it in the door. Died in bed slept and tried to drink and eat only got up a couple of times and that was horrible to even try - was nauseous and dizzy. Fell asleep around 8.30 and woke up at 5 with the princess taking up all the queen size bed. SO I am up and feeling squishy and dizzy but I will try to go to work today - I have so much work to do.
Thank you Missymac for calling to see if I was ok made me feel a bit better even just to rant about the BBB Wanker

December 1st, 2006

Its my birthday @ 10:12 pm

Current Mood: sleepy Oh how sleepy I am
Current Music: Happy Birthday to me

No bubbles to be drunk no cake to be eaten. Very low fat yet fun birhtday AND I am back on line YAHOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

November 24th, 2006

I need someone to make me feel like this - without the brainshit that goes with it @ 04:57 pm

Current Mood: confused confused

We'll do it all every thing, on our own
we don't need anything, or anyone

if i lay here, if i just lay here,
would you lie with me,
and just forget the world

i don't quite know how to say how i feel

those three words are said too much
they're not enough

if i lay here, if i just lay here,
would you lie with me,
and just forget the world

forget what we're told
before we get too old
show me a garden
thats bursting into life

let's waste time chasing cars
around our heads
i need your grace to remind me
to find my own

if i lay here, if i just lay here,
would you lie with me,
and just forget the world

forget what we're told
before we get too old
show me a garden
thats bursting into life

all that i am, all that i ever was
its here in your perfect eyes
they're all i can see
i don't know where
confused about how as well
just know that these things
will never change for us at all

if i lay here, if i just lay here,
would you lie with me,
and just forget the world

November 12th, 2006

Let the girl speak @ 11:05 am

Current Mood: amused amused
Current Music: No Doubt - just a girl

I live in an area of "special people" this morning while hanging out my laundry the lady down the back was singing very loudly and it was so very funny I had to share.
first yell out :
Little johhny
johnny howard
filled with
cat shit and
dog vomit
and then she started yelling
John Howard you are not worth the shit in the toilet
made me laugh which is always a good thing

October 31st, 2006

BAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! @ 03:11 am

Current Mood: crushed crushed

Why is it that when I think every thing is travelling well and I finally ask for something for me everything comes crashing down. Few weeks ago thought I was pregnant (was not) and it has since been bugging me. For my friends who know me they know I would give my left arm for another baby. Hubby and I said if I was it would not be too bad. Nothing more had been said. I swallowed my pride today and sent him an email asking if we can discuss this later tonught. No sooner than I had pressed send he calls me to tell me he has just been given 2 weeks notice at work can I find him a job SHIT!!!!!!!!! there goes the whole baby thing. Maybe it is a sign

September 26th, 2006

Drive home always good @ 07:09 pm

Driving home windows down hardcore techno blaring through stereo. I love my car

August 25th, 2006

look at my journal thingy @ 11:00 pm

Current Location: very tipsy
Current Mood: drunk ok so I am really drunk
Current Music: only me loudly

So way too much to drink tonight red wine, vodka, beer cider and fantastic italian food. have fun. Misa you all

August 19th, 2006

The week that was but never should have been :P @ 03:52 pm

Current Location: Home - again
Current Mood: drunk slightly tipsy
Current Music: James Blunt - tears adn rain

Is it possible to make an entire week disappear??? If you know please tell me how!!!
Here is the past week
Monday - FANTASTIC apart form being hung over from Sunday night word to the wise do not down half a carton of corona on a school night
Tuesday - Lunch with my friend Di she is goign on a weeks leave (sob)
Wednesday - public holiday hooray but this is where week starts to belong to the inlaws Hubby's mother called (lets call her MILFH is mother of SILFH please note the connection) saying her mother was not well and will probably survive rest of day can hubby call her when he wakes up. (point to note he rang her at about 9pm that night)aprat from that had a really nice day went to the dam for a beautiful picnic and play.
Thursday: Driving lesson oops I hit the wheely bin (ha!) am very excitied geting 6monthly haircut (YAHOO) get phone call from Hubby at about 10 that Nanna died I said I would organise everything here so that I could go with him so I reorganise my diary, cancel afterschool care for the princess, organise my mum to pick up my son and we would pick him up on the way home. Go to hairdressers get amazing (as always) haircut get it straightened and was travelling home when hubby calls and says we are not going now cos his mother had a fight with her sisters. So MILFH had fight with her sisters and so now we are not to go to his grandmother's funeral. Ok so go to bed
Friday: so instead of going to funeral I go to work rearrange life back to way it was 2 days earlier. Good thing I went to work thought the only 2 men in my office hurt themselves one had to go home and is off until late next week so basically I did all the work bah!
Satuday: Drinking Vodka sitting back doing nothing apart form the fact that I had to part with $800 this morning for kids to go away in September holidays

We're all here drinking beer

Pass the chips